Requiem For a Dream

I apologize for the tardiness of this entry, but every time I sat down to write I was at a complete loss of words when it came to my reaction about this movie. I just didn't know where to begin or even how to phrase my thoughts coherently. I will admit the strongest emotion that this movie produced in me was fear. I am so afraid for my friends I have watched tumble through severe addictions. I am afraid that one day the wanting of the drug and how it makes them feel will just consume them and I will lose them forever. I am afraid for my friends who have gone through addiction and recovery and how they get up every morning and keep living clean. It terrifies me in every way shape or form.

I also found myself feeling somewhat embarassed too. I have always thought that I was pretty well informed and aware of addiction and its severity. This movie left me realizing how ignorant I truly am. Addiction is not singular to drugs addiction can be present with anything, and somehow that fact just does not stick into my mind. It just was never made relevant or real to me. For me addiction was what rap stars rapped about and what my friends went through the circle never passed beyond that. I just felt completely ashamed for believing that this didn't go beyond just my small scope.

I still can't get the ending sex scene out of my head. It horrifies me and disgusts me. Yet, I know going to such extents for drugs is not uncommon. It makes my stomach turn because I know for a fact that my friends put themselves through similar things to get what they needed to get high. I have a hard time looking them in the eye right now. I just have that scene playing in the back of my head and I just don't ever want to imagine them being so desperate that they would be willing to do whatever it would take just to get high.

Harry left me feeling sick to my stomach. He wanted so much, yet he could never define exactly what he wanted. Love was part of it but everything else was so vague and it left me feeling overwhelmed and I was just watching. What he must have felt being so uncertain of what he wanted must have just driven to so many points of desperation.

I honestly think that this movie should be a required to be seen by every student. We try so hard to protect people from the bad and the ugly and it just leads to more bad and more hurt. We let the romanticization of addiction continue because we don't want to hear about anything else. We don't want to feel the pain that comes with it. Getting high is just a novelty act on occasion with friends to relieve tension. So many people actually believe this. Yes, this movie is rough to watch, but we don't always deserve a happy ending. Sometimes I feel as though a happy ending is nothing more than false security. It gives hope when in some cases there really isn't any. The truth is important and it shouldn't be sugar coated by a Disney saturated version of it. Things like addiction shouldn't be left to song and dance and the romanticized happy ending because most of the time it just isn't there